Indivibes: Finding Home in My Body Through Music

Hey IndiVibers,

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much the stage has been both a blessing and a teacher for me.
Music has always been my way of pouring out what’s in my heart, but performing — standing in front of a crowd — sometimes brings up feelings I didn’t expect.

Body dysmorphia isn’t something we talk about enough, especially in spaces that are supposed to feel empowering.
There were times when stepping into the spotlight felt way more vulnerable than powerful.
Moments when I questioned if I was “enough”, not because of my voice, but because of how I was seeing myself.

Last month, I lost some weight.
And while I definitely feel more confident in how I look and feel, especially from a healthy side of things, mentally, I still find myself struggling with the idea of performing.

Will I still look huge on camera?
Will my facial expressions get caught at the wrong angle?
What clips will people post on Instagram?

Beauty standards for curvier bodies have always been... sticky.
It’s a complicated dance between loving my body for the purpose it serves me — and knowing that sometimes, people see you first, judge you second, and then maybe give your music a real listen.

Now that the weather’s getting better and seasonal depression is finally letting go of a lot of people’s bodies, open mics and showcases are popping up everywhere again.
It’s giving me the chance to premiere new music to fresh faces — and also reconnect with the ones who've been rocking with me from the start.

But even with all the excitement, I still get anxious about performing while feeling "big."
I’m 5'11" and thick, and sometimes the way that reads on film just isn’t the most forgiving.
Some days, it feels like every angle, every clip, every camera lens is louder than the song I'm singing.

But even through all that noise, the truth stays the same:
No matter if you lose weight, gain weight, or stay exactly the same — your gift doesn’t change.

Your spirit doesn’t shrink.
Your music still matters.

Every time I get lost in the music, it pulls me back.
It reminds me: my body isn’t the enemy — it’s the vessel.
It carries the breath that turns into melody.
It lets me move, dance, sway, and connect to something way bigger than appearances.

When I’m tapped into the music, all that anxiety fades.
I’m not thinking about angles or clips or cameras.
I’m feeling the bass in my chest, the lift of the notes, the way the rhythm moves through my hands and my heart.

Music always brings me home.
It reminds me that my worth isn’t tied to a mirror, a measurement, or a moment caught on someone’s phone.
It’s tied to the love I give, the energy I share, and the way I keep showing up — flaws and all.

If you’ve ever felt caught between loving yourself and worrying about how you’re perceived, you’re not alone.
I see you. I feel you. And I'm rooting for you.

Keep dancing. Keep singing. Keep shining — even on the days you feel unsure. You are a light, and no filter, no angle, no opinion can dim that. 🌟

Until next time,
Stay vibin',
Indigo Asaá